Mr. Simpson

I was in the band in high school. We had a championship marching band, but I was never a very good clarinet player. And I felt like the director picked on me. I felt like he lowered my musical self-esteem so much, that I could never be a good musician. I respected him, but I really didn't like him. And deep in my heart, I have blamed him for my lack of musical ability all through the years.
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A couple of years ago he joined Facebook. A number of my band friends "friended" him and suggested I do the same. I asked myself why I would want to friend someone who I never liked. But as I thought about it, I realized that most of my feelings toward him were based on my own teenage immaturity. So I decided to let bygones be bygones. And I friended him. And I stopped blaming him for things.
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Less than a month ago he was diagnosed with lung cancer. I was genuinely sorry, and have been praying for him and his family. I even left a couple of notes on his Caringbridge site.
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This morning, he died. And I am sad. Though my contact with him since high school has been limited, it is sad knowing he isn't there anymore. I'm sad for his family, but I'm glad for his sake that he didn't have to suffer long. And I sincerely hope he knew Jesus.
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He actually taught me a lot, including a lesson in forgiveness.
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Goodbye, Mr. Simpson. I'll miss you.

A Friendly Dilemma

Having a baby at age 44 put me in a unique position with regard to my friendships. Before he was born, many of my friends, like me, had never had children. I could relate to them for obvious reasons. Most of the others had grown or nearly grown children. Some were already grandparents.

Now I am experiencing sleepless nights, changing diapers and trying to decide whether store-bought or homemade baby food is the best option. Naturally, these are not issues my friends can relate to. I still enjoy their company, and many of them have joyfully accepted Cooper into our friendly circle, but we just don’t have a lot in common anymore. I can no longer stay out late at night or spend the whole day at a craft fair. Cooper’s needs have to come first.

I’ve met a few new friends who have young children like I do. I can talk to them about which brand of car seat is the safest or what is the normal age for crawling to begin. But most of them are twenty-something. Half my age. And for some reason I get funny looks when I talk about my growing need for bifocals, the best treatment for arthritis, whether to color my gray hair or go natural, and my high school and college days . . . in the eighties.

I’m struggling to find my place in this new parenting world that I have suddenly found myself thrust into. I am thankful to be here and wouldn’t trade it for anything. For now I will just enjoy the friendships I have, both old and new. Hopefully time will work out the rest.

Eight Months Old

Whew! It's been a while since I've updated. You might say I've been a little busy. Just having an 8-month-old (especially when you're 44) is a handful, but we've had a lot of other things going on too.
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Here's a picture of "Cyclone Cooper" in action.Doesn't he look proud of himself?

Don's parents came from Iowa for a visit in early June.While they were here, we had Cooper baptized (or dedicated, in my way of thinking, but that's a blog for a less-busy day). Here he is with Pastor Mike.

This past week we had VBS at our church. It was a little rough trying to get up and out the door to church by 8:30 every morning, but we made it (well, mostly). Anyway, it was a good week. Cooper is shown here with "Aunt Lissa," my sister-in-law who helped make it all happen.This weekened we celebrated Father's Day, Don's first. Happy (belated) Father's Day to him, to my dad, Don's dad, and to all the other dads who are a part of our lives!

Seven Months Old

What a handful Cooper is getting to be! He's still not officially crawling yet, but he gets around by rolling and scooting. He's learned to pull books off of shelves, tablecloths off of tables, and all sorts of other mischief.

But he's a joy. He smiles all the time, is learning to recognize things and respond. He loves to be read to and sung to and to go outside. He babbles and giggles and is forever doing "raspberries." He has three teeth now. And wild hair.He keeps me busy; I'm feeling my age a lot these days, but he's worth it all. We're so thankful to have him in our lives.

The Death of Osama

Okay, I confess. The first thing that popped into my mind when I heard the news was the Wizard of Oz song: "Ding, dong, the witch is dead." Of course I had to change the words a little.

When I got on Facebook and saw my friends' thoughts about it, it made me think some more. It was interesting, really. Their responses were extremely varied, not really following the political or faith lines that I usually see. Many have had changing thoughts as the day has worn on.

Some, of course, rejoiced (even some liberals who have always opposed the war). Others lamented that he was in hell. A couple quoted Ezekiel 18:23: "Have I any pleasure in the death of the wicked, declares the Lord GOD, and not rather that he should turn from his way and live?"

Another, rather amusing, quote I saw was from Mark Twain: "I have never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure."

Interestingly, a couple speculated that he either wasn't really dead or that he died some time ago and for some reason they government didn't want us to know. After all, it is suspicious that they "buried him at sea" before they even told us he was dead. Also, it takes longer than few hours to get the results back from a DNA test, which they claim to have already done.

Time will tell. Or maybe it won't.

I don't know how I feel about it. I have mixed feelings, I guess.

The best quote I saw all day, was this one:

"There is only one death that brought the world peace, and we celebrated that last week."

Ultimately, Jesus is the One we need to put our hope in, not in the death of a man, evil though he was, or anything else.

He is the Prince of Peace.

Answering our Cry

I'm learning so much about God's love for us through being a parent. Another sudden understanding came recently.

Some time ago Cooper rolled from his stomach to his back. He did it several times over the course of a few days and then stopped doing it. I wasn't too worried. I figured he'd do it if he needed to.

About a month later, he learned to roll from his back to his stomach. Well, apparently he really had forgotten that he could roll stomach-to-back, and he didn't like being on his stomach. So he would cry. And Don or I would roll him back over onto his back. The process would soon be repeated.

I finally wised up. I knew he was physically capable of rolling onto his back, but why would he bother figuring out how to do it if we did it for him every time? So I put him on the floor and sat in a nearby chair and watched. He rolled onto his tummy and cried. I sat and watched. It hurt to watch him cry, knowing I could easily solve his problem, but I knew it would be better for him if I didn't. After a few minutes of crying pitifully, he did it -- he rolled onto his back. Within a couple of days he was rolling across the floor with no effort.

Sometimes we cry out to God to answer a specific prayer for us, and He seems silent. We cry and cry, pleading for the thing we want, until finally we figure out what we need to figure out. God was there all along, watching over us, but He knew we would be better off if we had to work a little harder to learn something, rather than having Him do it for us.

So next time you think God isn't answering your prayer, think of Cooper rolling across the room. Maybe it will all make a little more sense. ( :

Six Months Old

Wow -- how time flies! Cooper has now passed the six month mark and is growing by leaps and bounds. He has covered a lot of milestones in the past few weeks: first tooth, baby food, sitting up, and with rolling over both ways he has developed his own form of transportation: rolling across the room, so I am continually having to go get him and bring him back. I guess he's preparing me for the crawling and walking days ahead.
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Though he is keeping us busy, he is keeping us entertained too. Each day brings something new, and we're having a lot of fun finding out what it will be. The hugs, kisses, smiles and giggles are so rewarding -- what joy he is bringing to our lives!