Seventeen Months Old

This past month has been a wild one. Cooper and I have both been sick a lot. It seems like every time I put him in a nursery somewhere, he picks up a "bug" and then gives it to me. We're both well right now, though, and the weather is getting warmer, so maybe we're done with it all for a while.

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We celebrated my mom's birthday earlier this month with a little family gathering. Cooper did his part by eating some cake, something he was quite happy to do.

We've had our share of "toddler tantrums," especially when he isn't feeling well, but I guess that's normal. It makes the smiles all the sweeter.

He's becoming much more aware of things, understanding most everything we tell him and recognizing things that are familiar. He LOVES to push buttons (light switches, garage door, elevators, etc.) He's full of antics too, like balancing a pie plate on his head.

I'm still recovering in some ways from my miscarriage, but the beauty of springtime gives me new hope and reminds me that life goes on. I have much to be thankful for.

To My Baby in Heaven

They told me yesterday what I already knew
Though I had prayed it wasn’t true.
The ultrasound proved you were no longer there.
All I could do was sit and stare.

My mind began to wonder why –
Why did you live? And why did you die?
Why did God give you, then take you away?
Before you got to run and play?

I don’t even know if you were a boy or girl.
Would you have worn a baseball cap or had long golden curls?
Would you have liked singing or reading or sports?
Or studying science or building forts?

I wanted to hold you and be your mother,
To watch you play with your dad and your brother.
I wanted to love you and watch you grow.
There are so many things I’ll never know.

I won’t see you when you’re two or seven.
I’ll never hold you ‘til I’m in heaven.
I look forward to meeting you once I get there
Maybe then I’ll understand what now doesn’t seem fair.

Am I selfish to want you here with me?
To long for something that isn’t to be?
You were spared the trials and pain of life,
But I would rather be holding you tight.

I look out and see the daffodils bloom
And mourn that you are no more in my womb.
I have to believe that God knows best,
Though why this happened, I can only guess.

Sixteen Months Old

Wow -- how time flies! I've been nearly a month without blogging. Chasing a toddler keeps you busy!

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Not too much new to report for this month. Cooper is growing and changing every day, learning new things (and sometimes getting into trouble). We love him though, and we're learning to parent as we go, trusting God to teach us the right way to do it.

It's wintertime, and we've had our share of illnesses: stomach virus (Cooper and me) and now RSV and croup for Cooper. But this too shall pass. Spring is just around the corner. I'm looking forward to getting outside with him more so we can explore the world together, as I experience things anew through his eyes.

He is developing a love for animals (especially cats, it seems, much to Don's dismay). We have several books with animals in them that he carries around and looks at over and over, pointing out his favorites. He is learning to make some animal sounds too.

What a boy. What a joy. We are so thankful to be his parents.

Fifteen Months Old

Our baby boy is fifteen months old now. It has been a fun month, with lots of new adventures. Of course, this month included Christmas, which brought its own kind of fun.

We have had a few pretty days recently, and made the most of one of them by going to the zoo with a friend of mine. Here she is with Cooper on the merry-go-round.

He is feeding himself pretty well now. Well, sort of. You may note that he has a spoon on his tray, but it didn't get put to much use. Oh well.

He LOVES to read, and constantly brings us books, handing them to us and then putting his arms up for us to put him in our lap.

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Every day brings new things: new words, new skills, new experiences, or just a new understanding of how things work. Mom and Dad are having to learn as we go too, for new challenges are arising (did someone say toddler tantrums?). All in all, though, life is good and, as always, we are very thankful.

Nash Checks In

Hi. It's your old friend Nash again, checking in, as I like to do from time to time.

There's not too much new for me to tell. I still miss my dog-sister Dasha. Life just isn't the same without her. My dog-cousin, Lexie, came to visit at Thanksgiving, and we had a good time playing together. Here we are, both hoping for a bite of turkey (and yes, in the end, we both got some).

The family treats me well. Even the little guy isn't bad. He gets a little rough sometimes, but Mom and Dad always remind him to be gentle. Every now and then I have to growl a little to prompt them.

I feel like one of them for the most part, but sometimes I feel different, like when they all go someplace together and don't take me. We did all go for several nice walks over the Christmas holidays, while my dad was off of work. That was fun.

And speaking of Christmas, they didn't forget me. I found this dog in my stocking on Christmas morning. This picture was made that day. I have mostly destroyed it now.

I'm hoping for at least 1 good snow here before the winter is over. I always love playing in that.

Well, I guess I'll close. Happy New Year to everyone. I'll try to stop in again before too long.

Our Christmas Miracle

This time last year we were celebrating that Cooper had recovered from meningitis, a miracle I will be forever grateful for, not to mention the miracle that he was even born at all, when I was 44. This Christmas he brought us another sort of miracle, smaller but not insignificant to us.

When Cooper was born he had a skin tag on the lobe of his left ear. From the shape and location of it, it looked like a small, round pierced earring, the color of his skin. Nothing major, but it bugged me.

His pediatrician didn't want to try to remove it herself. She had never seen anything quite like it and wasn't sure how to handle it. She referred us to a plastic surgeon. I took Cooper there a few months back. I spent an hour and a half in the waiting room. During that time, I saw patients with much worse deformities than what Cooper had, which reminded me that we were dealing with a very small problem. When we finally saw the doctor, he said he could remove it . . . with surgery under general anesthesia, followed by a round of antibiotics. Total charge: around $5,000, which happens to be our deductible on our insurance. Total price for 5-minute visit with plastic surgeon: $300.

Not only was the money an issue, but needless to say, we didn't want to put Cooper through all the surgery and drugs when it wasn't really necessary. It still bugged me, but I began to wonder if God may have put it there for a reason. I never really prayed about it too much, except to ask for guidance about what we should do. The answer seemed to be "wait," so that's what we decided to do. Maybe a dermatologist could provide a simpler solution when he was older.

A couple of weeks ago, we noticed it was getting bigger and redder. He also developed a fever, so we took him to the doctor, thinking he may have an ear infection that was causing him to pull on his ear, irritating the bump. The doctor said his ears were fine; he had a viral sore throat. She thought he may have just noticed the bump and had started messing with it.

Over the next few days it continued to grow and got even more red. I never really saw him messing with it, other than just touching it a couple of times. Then it started going from red to purple. We still weren't overly concerned, as he didn't seem to be in pain, and the area around it didn't show any signs of infection, so we left it alone. Then it went from purple to black and got smaller and hard. I decided it was time for me to "mess" with it.

Yesterday morning I pulled on just a little bit, and it popped off! He cried for a moment, but not as if it had really hurt him. It didn't even bleed. We don't know for sure what it will do from here, but from the looks of it, it seems it will heal up and be completely unnoticeable.

Was it there for a reason? I have recently felt my faith was weak and asked God to make Himself real to me. Maybe that little bump was there so He could remind us that we just need to trust Him, especially in situations that are out of our control, and He will take care of them in His own time.

At any rate, I am thankful.

Fourteen Months Old

Wow, posting twice in the same week. I think that's a record for me since Cooper was born.

Our little guy is now fourteen months old. I am feeling so thankful that he is here and healthy, since last December we spent most of the month at Vanderbilt Children's Hospital, when he had meningitis.

We're still having some nice weather and went to the zoo with my mom a couple of weekends ago. This is an old house that is on the zoo property that was decorated for Christmas and open for tours.

I've found more joy in getting ready for Christmas this year than I have in years past. It's just more fun with a child in the house, even if he is too young to really know what's going on.

And even if we have to go to some extraordinary measures to keep him out of trouble.

Besides hanging the stockings on the curtain rods, we're not putting a tree up this year. We just felt like it would be a constant battle, mainly trying to keep him from eating and breaking the ornaments.

Christmas isn't about trees anyway. Or stockings. Or even presents. Christmas is about Jesus, God's Son coming to earth to save us from our sins.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16

This Christmas we are thankful most of all for that Gift, and for the salvation and promise of eternal life He has given us.