Thirty-Four Months Old

Summer has been in full swing, and we have been making this most of it.  We've spent time with friends, going to water parks and other fun places.  Cooper is shown here with my friend Laurie, at the Bicentennial Mall.

Don's parents came for a visit, and we spent a nice weekend with "Mimi and Granddad."

Cooper and I went to Memphis with my mom to visit her college roommate and longtime-friend, Alice.  While there, we went to an orchard and picked peaches, which Cooper loved!  We are still enjoying them.

My garden is giving us lots of goodies, and  Cooper's sunflowers opened up.  We have since cut them down and are drying them so we can hopefully eat some of the seeds.  We've gotten some potatoes too, squash and LOTS of tomatoes.  We've had so many cherry tomatoes that I am just having to let some of them rot because we can't eat them or even give them away fast enough.

Cooper is so inquisitive, learning new things every day.  He is going through a very sweet stage that we are enjoying (almost) every minute of.

Still no news for Don on the job front.  Prayers are appreciated as he continues to search and fill out applications, waiting for a phone call or e-mail.  He gets very frustrated and discouraged some days.

We are looking forward to starting back to Community Bible in a couple of weeks.  I am so thankful that Cooper loves learning about the word of God.  He goes around the house singing Bible songs and loves our Bible story time each morning.  We pray daily that he will grow to know and love Jesus and live for Him, and we are blessed to see that happening.

Mid-South Live Steamers

Yesterday my friend Laurie invited Cooper and me, along with another friend of hers who also has a little boy, to a semi-annual event in Columbia (south of Nashville) that I didn't even know existed: Mid-South Live Steamers. 

It was a fun day-all the way around.  The weather was beautiful.  Cooper behaved, and I think everyone had a great time!

This park is full of miniature (1/8 scale) railroad tracks, and apparently there are people who collect working steam-engine trains that are smaller than a real train but big enough for people to ride on.  Twice a year, they invite the public to come ride them.  We went over bridges, through tunnels and around the park, about a 10 or 15 minute ride.  There were about 6 trains running, and the wait was never too long.  Of course, we went on a Friday; it would probably have been longer on a Saturday.

We brought our lunch and ate it there, and besides the trains, there was a playground to play on and live music playing. 

Everything was free except concessions and souvenirs.  They even gave us free books! 

What a great day!  I think this is definitely something we will do again.  Thanks, Laurie!

A Blessed Christmas

I enjoyed Christmas more this year than I have in the past.  I think this was mostly due to Cooper.  It is much more fun to share Christmas with a child, and now he is old enough to be excited about it, though he still doesn't completely "get it."

A lot of people asked us if we were doing the Santa Claus thing.  No.  We read him books about Santa Claus, but told him they were just stories.  We gave him gifts, but didn't try to pretend they were from Santa.  I'm not judging other parents who do things differently; that's just the way we decided to handle it.

We're also trying to keep the focus on Jesus and not on materialism.  Even though he got gifts, we didn't really play that part up beforehand.  We talked about Jesus' birthday.  As it got close, I told him that Jesus is so important, that we all get presents for His birthday.

I intended for it to be small, but we ended up getting him quite a bit.  The poor boy just wanted to play with the presents he opened, but no, we would take one away from him and shove another one at him to open.  Oh well.

My brother and his family weren't able to come, but we invited a couple from church (the lady who introduced Don and me) over for brunch, along with my parents.  It was kind of quiet, but nice, really.

Don has been off for about 3 weeks and, other than spending a night in the hospital just before Christmas after passing out in church (another story for another day, but he's fine now), we've been enjoying all the extra time we've had together.  It's going to be hard on Cooper and me as well as Don when he has to go back to work, but I guess we'll adjust.

Happy New Year to all of you.  May 2013 be a year full of blessings.

A Friendly Dilemma

Having a baby at age 44 put me in a unique position with regard to my friendships. Before he was born, many of my friends, like me, had never had children. I could relate to them for obvious reasons. Most of the others had grown or nearly grown children. Some were already grandparents.

Now I am experiencing sleepless nights, changing diapers and trying to decide whether store-bought or homemade baby food is the best option. Naturally, these are not issues my friends can relate to. I still enjoy their company, and many of them have joyfully accepted Cooper into our friendly circle, but we just don’t have a lot in common anymore. I can no longer stay out late at night or spend the whole day at a craft fair. Cooper’s needs have to come first.

I’ve met a few new friends who have young children like I do. I can talk to them about which brand of car seat is the safest or what is the normal age for crawling to begin. But most of them are twenty-something. Half my age. And for some reason I get funny looks when I talk about my growing need for bifocals, the best treatment for arthritis, whether to color my gray hair or go natural, and my high school and college days . . . in the eighties.

I’m struggling to find my place in this new parenting world that I have suddenly found myself thrust into. I am thankful to be here and wouldn’t trade it for anything. For now I will just enjoy the friendships I have, both old and new. Hopefully time will work out the rest.

Shower of Blessings

I am blessed. I know that, but sometimes I get a reminder, as I did yesterday.

Some friends at work gave me a baby shower. I got lots of "material" gifts (shown below, including a number of gift cards as well), but I was even more blessed by the work people did to pull it together, and "shower" me with their love. Many of their gifts were handmade (clothes, blankets and quilts for my baby, etc.). These are gifts and memories I will always cherish.

Today I am 8 months pregnant. As far as I can tell, Baby and I are both healthy. I have another shower this weekend that my church friends are giving me. God is providing for our needs even as He is blessing us with this baby boy. Of course I have panic attacks from time to time about everything that could go wrong, but God is faithful, and I trust that whatever comes in the weeks and months and years ahead will be in His hands, as He is currently reminding me through the many ways He is blessing me.

Girls' Night Out

It's been a busy week, but a good one!

On Monday night, I got together with a group of friends, most of whom I was in a Bible study with twenty years ago. One of them had moved to Wisconsin and was back for a visit, so we had a great time getting caught up and reminiscing about the old days.

Here is a picture of us back then, taken at Standing Stone State Park around 1993:

6 of the 7 of us were there Monday, but only 5 are in this picture. These were the original members of our study.Do we look any different?? I was really surprised at how little we had all changed, in spite of marriage, children and other good and hard times life has brought our way.

I am so thankful for the people God has placed in my life through the years who have helped make me who I am. I think the old Michael W. Smith song, while maybe a bit sappy, is true: "Friends are friends forever if the Lord's the Lord of them."

The Aughts in Review

No one really seems to know what to call this decade that began with the year 2000 (remember Y2K?) and ends today. The first decade of the 1900’s was known to many as “The Aughts,” a term that has mostly fallen out of use now, but some use it to refer to this decade, for lack of a better term. I happen to like it, so, “The Aughts” it is.

I’ve been thinking back through the decade over the last few days, and I believe I can say it was my best one yet. Of course there have been a few bad times, but far more good ones.

Beginning on January 2, 2001, my nieces and nephew came into my life one by one. God hasn’t given me any children of my own so far, but I am so thankful for these children whose lives I can be a part of, watching them grow and learn and building relationships with each one of them.

Also in 2001, I joined Weight Watchers and lost 90 pounds, mostly during that year. I had come to the conclusion that I was destined to be a “fat” person, that nothing could change that, but thankfully, I was wrong. I do still struggle with my weight and have gained some of it back, though I have kept a substantial portion of it off and now know I am capable of losing the rest if I choose to.

I had been in Bible Study Fellowship since the late 90’s, and during the ‘00-’01 and ‘01-’02 years, I was asked to be treasurer, which required me to stand up in front of as many as 300 people every few weeks and give a brief report. At first I was terrified, but as time went on, I became more comfortable. During the ‘02-’03 and ‘03-’04 years I was a discussion group leader, a time of huge spiritual and personal growth. This experience was also where I met Ramelle, the friend who would ultimately introduce me to . . .

Don. We began dating in March of ’04, and in August of ’05, we were married. At nearly 39, I had pretty much given up on the idea of ever getting married, but God is faithful. His choice for a mate for me was far better than any I could have ever made, and though we may not fully understand His timing in this life, it is perfect. I am so thankful that I am going into this next decade with Don by my side.

Shortly after we were married, Don gave me a birthday gift that I had wanted for a long time: a flute. I took lessons, and while it has been a challenge for me (and I am not as dedicated as I should be), it has been a great experience to be able to play along with Don on our church’s worship team and also be a part of a community band.

I have had my dog Dasha since 1998, but in early 2007, Nash arrived and turned our world upside down. The first year with him was a huge challenge, but he has since turned out to be a really good dog who brings a lot of joy and laughter into our home.

In mid-2008 I started to blog. Though I only have a handful of faithful readers (and I appreciate every one of you!), it has been a great outlet for me to express myself in ways that I can’t always do verbally. Those who do read say they feel they know me much better now, and I have also enjoyed reading the blogs of others and getting to know them better.

This decade has also brought some sadness. I have lost several loved ones, including my grandmother, my friend Pam and her daughter Ashley. Even in my grief though, this makes me all the more thankful for my salvation, as I look forward to seeing each of them, as well as other loved ones, again in heaven.

So many other things have happened during this decade -- too many to mention, of course, but the changes have helped me grow in my faith, as well as bringing me joy, peace and confidence, not in them, but through them. God is good. He has brought me a long way, and I look forward to seeing what He will do in my life in The Teens!

A Lesson from a Tree

" . . . Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." I Samuel 16:7
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My neighbor has a tree in her yard that I have always thought was an eyesore that needed to be cut down.

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One morning I was visiting with her on her porch (as I often do on my morning walks), and she looked out and said, "I like that old tree. It has character."

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Suddenly I began to look at it differently. Rather than seeing an old, rotten tree, I began to think of it as a tree with a story to tell. How old was it? What had it seen during its life? Had children of yesteryear climbed up into its branches, looking out over the neighborhood? And now it was a playground for birds who regularly visited the feeder my friend had hung on it, and for squirrels, who likely made their home in its hollows.

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I will never look at the tree the same way, now that I know it has "character."

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How often do we judge people this way? They may be old, unattractive or handicapped, and we label them in our minds accordingly. But what if we looked instead at their character? Wouldn't we see them in a completely different way?

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Like the old tree, I need to look at a person's character, at their heart, as God does. I will likely find that there is a lot more there than meets the eye.

Aboard the General Jackson

My mom took us on a dinner cruise on the General Jackson last night to celebrate Don’s recent birthday, and mine, which is in October. She also brought her friend Peg, to celebrate her birthday, which was in July. We all had a really great time! The General Jackson is a riverboat that sails on the Cumberland River in Nashville. The cruise lasted three hours. It was a perfect night, and we were able to enjoy the breeze blowing off the water as evening set in. We had an elegant and tasty dinner which included a salad, prime rib, au gratin potatoes, asparagus, rolls and strawberry shortcake. After dinner, there was a 1-hour show that we watched from our tables. It was called “Country Music USA” and was a tribute to many of the key figures in country music from its inception until now. They displayed pictures of them on a screen and sang a hit song for each one of them. The show also included a bit of gospel music (also a big industry in Nashville) and patriotic music. It was very entertaining!
We sat at the table with a local couple who was celebrating their 51st anniversary, and another who told us that she (the wife) had donated one of her kidneys to him (the husband) one year ago. They were both doing well.

I think this cruise is a great way to celebrate a special event or, if you’re visiting Nashville, a way to get a good taste of the city. You get to see downtown, the Titans’ stadium and enjoy some good music as well. They offer different types of cruises at various prices, and if you’re lucky, you may be able to find a discount coupon. This was the first time Don and I had done this, but I would definitely do it again if I had the opportunity.

High School Reunion

My high school class is having our 25-year reunion this weekend, and there was a gathering last night at someone's house which Don and I attended. I was a little skeptical about going, but I really had a good time. It was like we kind of picked right up where we left off, but without all the immaturity we had then.

I went to my 10-year, but not my 20-year. Since then I have reconnected with about 30 of my classmates on Facebook, so that made me a little more enthusiastic about going this time. I had great conversations with people that I hardly knew in high school. I found I had more in common with some of them than I now do with people I was once friends with.

Still, no matter where we are in life, we all share the common bond of our past. Many of us went all the way through school together (I moved to that system in fourth grade), so they were a big part in making me who I am.

I'm glad I have Facebook now to help me keep up with these friends, and I'm looking forward to seeing them again at my 30-year reunion.

With my friends Barbara and Esther.

Baby Shower

We had a baby shower for a lady in our church yesterday. I was in charge of the games.

One of them was a game I had played before where everyone puts a paper plate on their head and draws a picture of a baby on it. This was pretty funny to watch. The mother-to-be was the judge of who drew the best baby.

For the second game, I passed around a roll of yarn and had everyone cut off a piece that they thought matched the girth of the mother-to-be. Meanwhile, I measured her girth with a different color of yarn. I also had everyone write their name on a label and wrap it around the top of their yarn, since there were 25+ people playing. Then I held all the yarn up and had someone pick the piece that was closest in length to the mother's girth, and that person was the winner.

The last game was Baby-o. I mentioned this in a previous blog. Here is what one of the cards looked like.

I think everyone had a good time. I look at showers differently since my three wedding showers. It is such a blessing to have everyone come just to honor you and shower you with gifts. Since then, I have a new enthusiasm for giving or attending them.

Pam’s Tree

When my friend Pam died, two of my other friends went in together and gave me a gift card to buy a tree in her memory.

Don and I got engaged at the Ellington Agricultural Center about 3 weeks after she died. It was the first day I was really happy again, and one of the main things I remember about it was that there were dogwoods in bloom everywhere. So I chose a dogwood tree to remind me not of the sadness of Pam’s death, but the renewed hope that came afterward. I think it’s what she would have wanted.

I also chose it because of the dogwood flowers’ unique resemblance to the cross. Besides its obvious shape, each petal has a hole at the end that appears to be outlined in blood. The center looks somewhat like a crown of thorns.

I got the little tree the fall after we got married, 3½ years ago. The first one I got died, and we had to replace it. Neither the first one nor the second one has ever bloomed, much to my dismay.

Until this year. For the first time, it is beautiful. I get a bit mystical sometimes, but it is interesting that this wonderful event happened so shortly after this one. Pam asked me to stay in touch with her kids, and I have not even seen any of them at all in the last four years, until about three weeks ago, when I began making a real effort to get involved in her younger kids’ lives. I hope this will lead to getting involved with her older kids as well. At least the ones who are still alive.

Just a coincidence? Possibly. It’s one of the things I want to ask her when I get to heaven.

Abby

I have blogged about my friend Pam, who died 4 years ago, and that recently her oldest daughter Ashley died at age 22.

One thing Pam asked me to do before she died was to keep in touch with her five children. I told her I would try, but I must confess, I haven’t tried very hard. I have made some attempts with her older 3 (who are from a different marriage), but haven’t tried to contact her widowed husband and his 2 kids at all, until I recently found him on Facebook. My not contacting him wasn’t for lack of wanting to; I got engaged right after Pam died and so was planning a wedding and then a newlywed, plus it was kind of awkward for me, a fairly shy person, to call him.

Ashley’s death touched us all and made me realize that I had missed an opportunity that would never come again. A few days later Kerry, Pam’s husband, started developing symptoms that the doctors have tentatively diagnosed as MS. He is still single with an 8-year old and a 9-year old to raise.

This finally prompted me to ask if I could help with the kids. A friend of his saw my message and e-mailed me. In the end we decided we would all meet for breakfast at Cracker Barrel on Saturday morning.

I think Kerry has done a remarkably good job raising the kids, but Abby, his daughter, who is a very active 8-year old, is wearing him out right now, especially in light of his current health problems. I asked Kerry what I could do to help, and he said anytime I wanted to take Abby off his hands for a little while, that would be great.

So I took her for the day on Saturday. And what a day it was. She hasn’t seen me since she was 4 and didn’t remember me at all, but she had no problem warming up to me. Her personality is so much like Pam’s, it was almost eerie. I’m sure if you have ever lost someone close to you, you may have wished that you could just have one more day with them. I almost felt like that was happening.

But Abby isn’t Pam; she is her own self, and we really enjoyed our day together. Don gave her a drum lesson, and we drew pictures (which she is really good at!), made some beaded jewelry, went for a walk in the park, and just hung out. I didn’t push her to talk about her mom too much, but we did talk about her a little, and about Ashley. On Sunday she called me and asked me if she could come over again. I told her not then, but we would do it again soon.

I really hope I can stay involved in Abby’s life (and her brother’s, if he wants me to). I think it would be good for her, for Kerry and for me, and I believe that Pam is in heaven, joyful that we’ve finally gotten together.

Ashley

Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. I Thessalonians 4:13-14

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It will be four years this month since my friend Pam died. In some ways I have accepted it and moved on with my life, and in other ways I am still grieving.
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I found out this week that Pam’s 22-year-old daughter, Ashley, died suddenly on Friday night. The autopsy revealed she had a tumor on her pituitary gland which showed no symptoms until it cut off the oxygen supply to her brain and killed her.
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This brought a whole new flood of thoughts and emotions for me. Why, God? Why would you put Ashley on this earth for such a short time?
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God’s answer came to me clearly. He put Ashley here for many reasons, but one of them was to teach me. A lot. Like how to love people who are different from me. You see, not only was Ashley bi-racial; she also had brain damage from birth. But I loved her. And it was really my first experience loving someone like her in the way that I did. Before she was born, Pam asked me to be her godmother, which I was excited and honored to do.
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Ashley also taught me not to give up on people. Even if she had lived, she would probably never have been able to care for herself completely. But she learned to do a lot of things. She taught me patience as I tried to teach her to read a number of years ago. We made progress, but it was slow and didn’t go as I expected. She just didn’t learn like other kids. But she did learn, and the best thing I could do for her was to believe in her. It was a tendency for me and for others to feel sorry for her because of her disabilities, but I don’t believe she ever felt sorry for herself.
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Ashley had a simple faith in God that should be an example for all of us. She just believed. She didn’t doubt. She knew the things she had been taught about Him were real.
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The last time I saw Ashley was at Pam’s funeral. I was bawling my eyes out and made a point to hug each of Pam’s 3 older children (Ashley and her two brothers), knowing that they were going to have to go live in Georgia with their dad and I wouldn’t be seeing them much anymore. Ashley, in an effort to console me even in her own grief, said, "We love you, Jill." Little did I know that would be the last time I would ever see her face-to-face.
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I do have this consolation: I know Ashley and Pam are having a joyful reunion in heaven. Ashley is healthy and whole and now understands far more than I ever will, at least during this life. Now I have one more reason to look forward to heaven.