Ashley

Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. I Thessalonians 4:13-14

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It will be four years this month since my friend Pam died. In some ways I have accepted it and moved on with my life, and in other ways I am still grieving.
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I found out this week that Pam’s 22-year-old daughter, Ashley, died suddenly on Friday night. The autopsy revealed she had a tumor on her pituitary gland which showed no symptoms until it cut off the oxygen supply to her brain and killed her.
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This brought a whole new flood of thoughts and emotions for me. Why, God? Why would you put Ashley on this earth for such a short time?
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God’s answer came to me clearly. He put Ashley here for many reasons, but one of them was to teach me. A lot. Like how to love people who are different from me. You see, not only was Ashley bi-racial; she also had brain damage from birth. But I loved her. And it was really my first experience loving someone like her in the way that I did. Before she was born, Pam asked me to be her godmother, which I was excited and honored to do.
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Ashley also taught me not to give up on people. Even if she had lived, she would probably never have been able to care for herself completely. But she learned to do a lot of things. She taught me patience as I tried to teach her to read a number of years ago. We made progress, but it was slow and didn’t go as I expected. She just didn’t learn like other kids. But she did learn, and the best thing I could do for her was to believe in her. It was a tendency for me and for others to feel sorry for her because of her disabilities, but I don’t believe she ever felt sorry for herself.
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Ashley had a simple faith in God that should be an example for all of us. She just believed. She didn’t doubt. She knew the things she had been taught about Him were real.
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The last time I saw Ashley was at Pam’s funeral. I was bawling my eyes out and made a point to hug each of Pam’s 3 older children (Ashley and her two brothers), knowing that they were going to have to go live in Georgia with their dad and I wouldn’t be seeing them much anymore. Ashley, in an effort to console me even in her own grief, said, "We love you, Jill." Little did I know that would be the last time I would ever see her face-to-face.
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I do have this consolation: I know Ashley and Pam are having a joyful reunion in heaven. Ashley is healthy and whole and now understands far more than I ever will, at least during this life. Now I have one more reason to look forward to heaven.