Our Christmas Miracle

This time last year we were celebrating that Cooper had recovered from meningitis, a miracle I will be forever grateful for, not to mention the miracle that he was even born at all, when I was 44. This Christmas he brought us another sort of miracle, smaller but not insignificant to us.

When Cooper was born he had a skin tag on the lobe of his left ear. From the shape and location of it, it looked like a small, round pierced earring, the color of his skin. Nothing major, but it bugged me.

His pediatrician didn't want to try to remove it herself. She had never seen anything quite like it and wasn't sure how to handle it. She referred us to a plastic surgeon. I took Cooper there a few months back. I spent an hour and a half in the waiting room. During that time, I saw patients with much worse deformities than what Cooper had, which reminded me that we were dealing with a very small problem. When we finally saw the doctor, he said he could remove it . . . with surgery under general anesthesia, followed by a round of antibiotics. Total charge: around $5,000, which happens to be our deductible on our insurance. Total price for 5-minute visit with plastic surgeon: $300.

Not only was the money an issue, but needless to say, we didn't want to put Cooper through all the surgery and drugs when it wasn't really necessary. It still bugged me, but I began to wonder if God may have put it there for a reason. I never really prayed about it too much, except to ask for guidance about what we should do. The answer seemed to be "wait," so that's what we decided to do. Maybe a dermatologist could provide a simpler solution when he was older.

A couple of weeks ago, we noticed it was getting bigger and redder. He also developed a fever, so we took him to the doctor, thinking he may have an ear infection that was causing him to pull on his ear, irritating the bump. The doctor said his ears were fine; he had a viral sore throat. She thought he may have just noticed the bump and had started messing with it.

Over the next few days it continued to grow and got even more red. I never really saw him messing with it, other than just touching it a couple of times. Then it started going from red to purple. We still weren't overly concerned, as he didn't seem to be in pain, and the area around it didn't show any signs of infection, so we left it alone. Then it went from purple to black and got smaller and hard. I decided it was time for me to "mess" with it.

Yesterday morning I pulled on just a little bit, and it popped off! He cried for a moment, but not as if it had really hurt him. It didn't even bleed. We don't know for sure what it will do from here, but from the looks of it, it seems it will heal up and be completely unnoticeable.

Was it there for a reason? I have recently felt my faith was weak and asked God to make Himself real to me. Maybe that little bump was there so He could remind us that we just need to trust Him, especially in situations that are out of our control, and He will take care of them in His own time.

At any rate, I am thankful.

Fourteen Months Old

Wow, posting twice in the same week. I think that's a record for me since Cooper was born.

Our little guy is now fourteen months old. I am feeling so thankful that he is here and healthy, since last December we spent most of the month at Vanderbilt Children's Hospital, when he had meningitis.

We're still having some nice weather and went to the zoo with my mom a couple of weekends ago. This is an old house that is on the zoo property that was decorated for Christmas and open for tours.

I've found more joy in getting ready for Christmas this year than I have in years past. It's just more fun with a child in the house, even if he is too young to really know what's going on.

And even if we have to go to some extraordinary measures to keep him out of trouble.

Besides hanging the stockings on the curtain rods, we're not putting a tree up this year. We just felt like it would be a constant battle, mainly trying to keep him from eating and breaking the ornaments.

Christmas isn't about trees anyway. Or stockings. Or even presents. Christmas is about Jesus, God's Son coming to earth to save us from our sins.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16

This Christmas we are thankful most of all for that Gift, and for the salvation and promise of eternal life He has given us.

Christmas Ideas

It's going to have to be inexpensive gifts for the people on my Christmas list this year, but it's always been my belief that you could make up for not spending too much money on a gift by adding a little extra time and thought to it.

Here are a couple of things I am doing this year.

I made these Christmas potpourri jars with a few of the hundreds of baby food jars I seem to have around the house, but any jar would do. Just fill with potpourri, and then cut a circle of tulle (or any thin fabric), attach it with a rubber band and put a bow around it. Makes for a nice-smelling gift and costs very little.

Another thing I am making for a few people is Caramel Chex Mix. I got this recipe from Simple Girl but have made a few modifications to it:

13 cups rice Chex cereal (13-oz. box)

1-1/2 c. packed brown sugar

3/4 c. butter

1/3 c. light corn syrup

1/3 tsp. baking soda (I know that's an odd measurement; you just have to estimate)

1-1/2 c. plain M&M's (I used Christmas ones for this project)

Heat oven to 250 degrees. Spray a large roasting pan with cooking spray.

Pour the cereal into a bowl.

In a 3-quart saucepan, stir together brown sugar, butter and corn syrup. Cook and stir over medium heat until mixture heats to boiling. Boil 1 minute, stirring constantly. Remove from heat. Stir in baking soda. Pour over cereal, stirring until evenly coated.

Bake 45 minutes, stirring every 15 minutes, until coating is set. Cool 5 minutes. Stir in M&M's. Spread on parchment or waxed paper to cool, at least 10 minutes. Store in an airtight container (I use a Ziploc bag).

Yum!

Thankful

This Thanksgiving season gave us many reasons to be thankful.

It started out stressful a few months ago. My brother and his family, who moved to Boone, NC, in August, had told me they were coming to town for Thanksgiving, and it was my consolation when they left. However, I apparently never mentioned this to Don.

Then one day Don's brother David, who was supposed to come to town with his family in June to meet Cooper for the first time but had to stay home because he had a heart attack, called. Don talked to him and then came running up the steps, excited, and told me that David and his family were going to come for Thanksgiving.

Enter stress. A family of 5, plus a family of 6 (who don't even know each other), plus Don, Cooper and me, plus my parents. Hmmm. Our house just isn't all that big.

Then Don's brother Doug also wanted to come with his family of 3. I began to try coming up with alternate plans about where we could eat. I didn't think we could possibly all fit in our house.

I prayed about it and tried not to stress. Sometimes God just works these things out. Always, really, though we don't always understand what he's doing.

We found out that none of them wanted to stay at our house, which relieved some of my stress, but the biggest break came when we found out Don's brothers weren't coming until late Thursday night. That way, we would get to spend Thursday with my family. They have lots of friends here in town they wanted to visit with, so they could do that on the rest of the days they were here.

And so it went. We had a wonderful day on Thursday (except that my dad was sick and didn't get to come), and a good visit with Don's brothers and their families on Friday and Saturday. The weather was beautiful and we went to the park, the zoo and did as much together as we could cram into two days. They left early Sunday morning, so my family all came over (including my dad) for breakfast, and then we all went to church together before they headed back to Boone.

So all in all, it was a great weekend. Don keeps saying it was the best Thanksgiving he has had in a long time, and I'm inclined to agree. Cooper had a blast with his grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins and was sad to see them go (and especially his Uncle Andy).

God is good, and I am thankful for all of our blessings, especially our family.

Thirteen Months Old

It has been a fun month, with a lot of nice weather, so we've spent as much time outdoors as we could.

Highlights include Cooper learning to walk,

a friend's wedding (here we are, all dressed up for it),

a trip to the zoo with my dad,

and playing in the leaves at our neighbor's house.

We also went to LaFayette, a small town about an hour away on Saturday to watch Don's band play, and on the way home we ate at a little restaurant called Suzy-Q's Cafe. It was a renovated gas station that had a both prices and ambiance that you wouldn't find in Nashville. We all thoroughly enjoyed ourselves.

Cooper continues to grow and learn new things. Walking has increased his speed of transportation, and he keeps his old mama busy chasing him! Still, I cherish these days, the smiles, the hugs, the baby chatter and just sitting and cuddling or reading a book. What a blessing he is in our lives!

An Autumn Outing

It was a beautiful fall weekend, so Don and I decided to take a family walk at the Ellington Agricultural Center. This is one of our favorite places, but we haven't been there in a while and have never taken Cooper. I really hadn't wanted to go since Dasha died because I have so many memories of her there (we used to live nearby before I was married and went there for walks often), but it was time.

We got to enjoy a lot of God's wonderful handiwork
and take a few pictures of our little guy.
This is the gazebo where Don and I got engaged.
He's crawling here, but he actually started walking this week.
We stopped by to visit the police horses. Cooper had never been this close to a horse before, so he let out a few random, piercing screams. Fortunately, these horses are trained to handle things like that and didn't flinch.
It was a fun family outing. We all soaked in a little sunshine, got some exercise and just generally had a good time.

The Big Day

My baby boy is a year old! We celebrated his birthday with a party which included all four of his grandparents. Don's parents (right) came all the way from Iowa.

He had his first cupcake ever. He ate every bite of it . . . every crumb . . . in mere seconds! Guess he takes after his mom in that regard.

He got lots of presents.

He is a blessed little boy! And we are very blessed to have him!

Imagination Library

Cooper loves to be read to. And I love reading to him. Not only is it educational for him, but it's a time to sit in the chair together, to be still, to snuggle and to interact. I have a goal of reading him at least 10 books per day, which we generally reach easily and often exceed.

A great source of books that I have discovered is Imagination Library, an organization started by Dolly Parton, that sends preschool-aged children a free book every month. We have been receiving books since January, and I look forward around the middle of every month to seeing what the next book will be. Cooper is too young to anticipate them or get excited about getting mail, but he very much enjoys having the books read to him.

This is a really cool program, and anyone can sign up on their website. It is only available in areas that have a sponsor, and our area, thankfully, is sponsored by Nissan. My hat goes off to Dolly Parton and the people who make this program possible.

Eleven Months Old

My computer seems to have acquired a virus that has completely disabled it. I could write an ugly blog about that, but for now I'll just say that, until I get that resolved, I'm using Don's, which I don't know too much about and I'm therefore I'm short on new pictures of Cooper.

He's keeping me VERY busy. He's not quite walking, but he's crawling and cruising everywhere at an impressive speed. I am reminded of my advanced age on a daily basis as I seek to keep up with him. He's fun though, learning new things every day. The weather has been pretty, so we have been sitting outside a lot. Because we live near the airport, we see a lot of low-flying planes, which he loves. He has also developed a liking for snakes (which we read about in books and saw at the zoo) and has learned to hiss like one. He's eating all kinds of new foods and so far hasn't refused anything we have given him.

As his first birthday approaches, I am reminded of all that has transpired in the past year: some good, some bad, but true to His word, God has worked it all together for good. I am so thankful to be the mother of this precious child and enjoy each day that I get to spend with him, watching him grow and seeing even now how God's plan is unfolding in his life.

A Day at the Zoo

We took Cooper to the Nashville Zoo today for the first time. It was a fairly nice August day, and we had a fun family outing.We had been reading a lot of books about animals, so I thought it was time he got a concept of what they actually looked like. The Nashville Zoo has an interesting selection of animals -- a few traditional ones: elephants, giraffes, lions and zebras, and a few less-traditional ones: a giant anteater, a porcupine, a guenon (whatever that is) and a tapir (huh?). We didn't see everything today, but we got a 1-year membership so we can go back anytime.The most fun part of me was getting to enjoy being a kid again as I got to watch Cooper seeing new things for the very first time.

Ten Months Old

Wow! It's been an eventful month. Cooper, now ten months, is pulling up and starting to say a few words, like "stuck" when he got his arm stuck in a drawer, and "cheese" when begging for macaroni and cheese. He raises his hands when we tell him to praise God.
We took him on his first vacation to our favorite spot, the Smoky Mountains. It was a little different with a baby along, but we had fun. We stayed in the same cabin we stayed in last time and took our dog Nash along too. We spent one day at Gatlinburg and another day hiking on a pet-friendly trail. -

The big news is that my brother and sister-in-law and their family are in the process of moving to Boone, NC. My brother got a job working at Samaritan's Purse. After having them here in Nashville for 13 years, I am REALLY going to miss them. It will help having e-mail, Facebook, and free long distance on our cell phones, but it's going to be hard not seeing them at church every week and not getting to watch my nieces and nephew grow up and being as big a part of their lives. I believe God has a plan in this though; it seems like a great ministry opportunity for them, and my brother will have much better working hours than he has ever had before.
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These pictures are of Cooper with his cousins and Aunt Lissa,

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and with my brother and me.Cooper keeps me so busy that I don't have much time to sit around and be sad, or do much of anything else. He's a joy though, and we're thankful every day that God has blessed us with him.

Nine Months Old

Our little cutie is nine months old now. What a fun age! He keeps us busy, though, getting into everything. He's not quite crawling yet, but he gets around, sliding across the room on his belly in no time flat! We've put locks on the cabinets, covers on the outlets, and we're getting a lot of practice saying the word "no." He's starting to eat some of the things we eat and feed himself a bit (well, sort of).

We get so much joy in watching him become aware of things (like touching a cat for the first time and looking up at me with a smile on his face and wonder in his eyes). He loves to read. And read. And read. He especially loves touchy-feely books and those with flaps that he can lift and see a picture underneath.

At church the other day he spotted Don walking toward us and whispered "Da-da."

God is blessing us so much with this sweet baby boy! Some days we wonder if we're going to be able to keep up with him, but so far we have. Every day is an adventure, as we find out anew just how much we can love, and be entertained by, our little fellow.

The Vaccine Decision

There is no decision that has caused me more anxiety as a parent so far than that of whether or not to vaccinate my son. A wrong decision either way could have grave consequences, but who is to say what a wrong decision is?

The medical community will, of course, tell us that vaccines are necessary, that we would be crazy not to do something that could prevent our children from having serious illnesses.

But is it possible that their motives aren’t entirely pure? Is it possible that they are driven by a pharmaceutical industry that is making HUGE amounts of money? Is it also possible that the Center for Disease Control may know that they are at least partially wrong about vaccines and their consequences, but wouldn’t dare admit it because doing so would result not only in massive lawsuits, but also in a public distrust in them, in parents not vaccinating their children at all and the potential return of epidemics to our country that had previously been eradicated?

There is a lot of hype involved. I noticed this about the flu vaccine long before I became a parent. Every year there is some crisis, such as a “shortage” of the vaccine, so everyone must hurry and get theirs before it runs out. (Amazingly, they never do.) Or perhaps the flu will be a particularly deadly strain this year, and we must get vaccinated right away or risk certain death. But, whew, in the end enough people got vaccinated to keep it from spreading and we dodged another bullet. But next year . . . Interestingly, the only person I knew who had the flu last winter had actually gotten the vaccine (but of course, she was told, she had a milder case of it than she otherwise would have, had she not gotten the vaccine).

I’m not sure, but I believe doctors may take a drama class in medical school. They are prepared for parents like me who suggest that maybe vaccines are not the best option. “WHAT?? You would consider not vaccinating your child? Do you know what the consequences could be if you don’t?” Like they’ve never heard of such a crazy idea.

In a doctor’s defense, they constantly have the risk of a medical malpractice suit hanging over their heads. If my doctor were to agree with me that yes, choosing not to vaccinate your child is a valid option, and then my child were to acquire some illness that a vaccine might have possibly prevented, then I could easily slap a huge malpractice suit on my doctor. So that, of course, is a driving factor in their dramatic presentations.

We are led to believe that vaccines are required by law. They are not. We are told that children must be vaccinated before attending a public school, but in truth, you are allowed to “opt out,” based on your own philosophical reasons.

For many years, everyone just accepted their doctor’s word. If the doctor said their child needed a vaccine, they got one. But now we are in the information age. We have the Internet, where articles on virtually every topic in the world are available to anyone and everyone. Now we can find out all we want to know about vaccines, not just take our doctor’s word for it, though we have to realize that just because something is on the Internet, it isn’t necessarily accurate. We have to also use our common sense and get our information from a variety of sources.

But why would I NOT want to vaccinate my child? There are a multitude of reasons, but you have to dig to find them because the above-mentioned entities do not want to you to even be aware of them.

Vaccines can have side effects. They are hard to prove, and when you’re fighting such huge organizations, the little guy usually loses. But the parent whose 2-month-old baby dies of “SIDS” (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) within a few days after receiving a series of vaccines, or the parent whose healthy toddler gets his MMR shot and suddenly develops full-blown autism can tell you that these things are real. And then it is too late to do anything about them. And the medical community generally won’t admit that there is a connection. Incidentally, the United States comes in 46th for their infant mortality rate for children under one year of age. That means 45 countries have less babies dying, including far less developed countries. After all those vaccines we give to our infants. . .

There is a lot about vaccines that doctors won’t tell you. Did you know that many of them are made from tissue from aborted fetuses? Did you know that they contain poisonous materials such as mercury, something you would normally keep your child from ingesting at all costs, yet in vaccinating, you are injecting it directly into his body? It is also speculated that this unnatural way of forcing these foreign substances into the body can actually harm the immune system rather than build it up. What’s more, vaccines are not always even effective against the viruses they are designed to prevent.

“But the risks are much lower than the risks of getting the viruses,” they will tell a parent like me, who dares to question. Are they?? Do you know anyone whose baby has died of SIDS? What about a child with Autism? Both of these are currently “unexplainable.” A doctor will assure you that they’re not associated with vaccines, but how can they prove that, if they can’t tell you what did cause them? The SIDS rate is highest between 2 and 4 months of age, right at the time babies get their first rounds of vaccinations, often 6 or more at one time. Other things have been associated with vaccines too, including ADHD and more, even possibly diabetes and some types of cancer.

Medicine is a science. Everything is an experiment. If things work time after time, they are generally considered true, but there are always exceptions. Everyone’s body is different and reacts differently to things. Some things have long-term effects; it may be years before we see those effects and even longer before we can unquestionably associate them with certain causes.

The currently recommended number of vaccines given to infants under one year of age is approximately 26, beginning with Hepatitis B in the hospital within hours of their birth (this, by the way, is an illness generally spread through sexual contact or by sharing used hypodermic needles, which the majority of babies hopefully never encounter). This number has increased dramatically in recent years as more vaccines are being developed. So have the number of Autism cases. Hmmm. Some of them are for diseases that are really not all that serious (isn’t chickenpox just a rite of passage in childhood?). And there is currently discussion about adding 4 doses of a Meningococcal vaccine to this schedule.

So, what is a parent to do? Danged if you do; danged if you don’t. I wish I could conclude this article by telling you the right answer. I wish I knew it myself and could confidently take my child in for his routine vaccines, knowing that I am doing the best thing I can do for him. Or not vaccinate him at all with full assurance that he will never contact any of the illnesses.

But I can’t do either of those things. I have prayed about this. A lot. And I have yet to feel a complete peace about any of the options available to me. I have talked to a number of other parents, ranging from those who are adamant that their children shouldn’t have any vaccines, to those who completely trust their pediatrician and agree to give their children every vaccine recommended. And others, like me, who just don’t know what to do. I have even talked to a couple who feel certain their children were affected by their vaccines, one suffering seizures and another, Autism.

My current plan is to follow Dr. Bob Sears’ selective vaccine schedule. He has a program for spreading out the most important infant vaccines (so they don’t get so many at once) and then waiting on the others, or putting them off indefinitely. I’m not sure my husband is in total agreement, but he will admit that he doesn’t have all the answers either. My pediatrician may balk (some would treat me like a complete idiot; mine isn’t quite that bad), but I’m really trying to do the best thing, based on prayer, my research and my own maternal instincts.

If you want to read more about this, here are some websites that may interest you:

Dr. Bob Sears
Center for Disease Control Vaccine schedule
Infant mortality rate - Wikipedia
Aborted fetal cells in vaccines
National Vaccine Information Center
Mercola - Meningococcal Vaccine article

Mr. Simpson

I was in the band in high school. We had a championship marching band, but I was never a very good clarinet player. And I felt like the director picked on me. I felt like he lowered my musical self-esteem so much, that I could never be a good musician. I respected him, but I really didn't like him. And deep in my heart, I have blamed him for my lack of musical ability all through the years.
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A couple of years ago he joined Facebook. A number of my band friends "friended" him and suggested I do the same. I asked myself why I would want to friend someone who I never liked. But as I thought about it, I realized that most of my feelings toward him were based on my own teenage immaturity. So I decided to let bygones be bygones. And I friended him. And I stopped blaming him for things.
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Less than a month ago he was diagnosed with lung cancer. I was genuinely sorry, and have been praying for him and his family. I even left a couple of notes on his Caringbridge site.
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This morning, he died. And I am sad. Though my contact with him since high school has been limited, it is sad knowing he isn't there anymore. I'm sad for his family, but I'm glad for his sake that he didn't have to suffer long. And I sincerely hope he knew Jesus.
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He actually taught me a lot, including a lesson in forgiveness.
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Goodbye, Mr. Simpson. I'll miss you.

A Friendly Dilemma

Having a baby at age 44 put me in a unique position with regard to my friendships. Before he was born, many of my friends, like me, had never had children. I could relate to them for obvious reasons. Most of the others had grown or nearly grown children. Some were already grandparents.

Now I am experiencing sleepless nights, changing diapers and trying to decide whether store-bought or homemade baby food is the best option. Naturally, these are not issues my friends can relate to. I still enjoy their company, and many of them have joyfully accepted Cooper into our friendly circle, but we just don’t have a lot in common anymore. I can no longer stay out late at night or spend the whole day at a craft fair. Cooper’s needs have to come first.

I’ve met a few new friends who have young children like I do. I can talk to them about which brand of car seat is the safest or what is the normal age for crawling to begin. But most of them are twenty-something. Half my age. And for some reason I get funny looks when I talk about my growing need for bifocals, the best treatment for arthritis, whether to color my gray hair or go natural, and my high school and college days . . . in the eighties.

I’m struggling to find my place in this new parenting world that I have suddenly found myself thrust into. I am thankful to be here and wouldn’t trade it for anything. For now I will just enjoy the friendships I have, both old and new. Hopefully time will work out the rest.

Eight Months Old

Whew! It's been a while since I've updated. You might say I've been a little busy. Just having an 8-month-old (especially when you're 44) is a handful, but we've had a lot of other things going on too.
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Here's a picture of "Cyclone Cooper" in action.Doesn't he look proud of himself?

Don's parents came from Iowa for a visit in early June.While they were here, we had Cooper baptized (or dedicated, in my way of thinking, but that's a blog for a less-busy day). Here he is with Pastor Mike.

This past week we had VBS at our church. It was a little rough trying to get up and out the door to church by 8:30 every morning, but we made it (well, mostly). Anyway, it was a good week. Cooper is shown here with "Aunt Lissa," my sister-in-law who helped make it all happen.This weekened we celebrated Father's Day, Don's first. Happy (belated) Father's Day to him, to my dad, Don's dad, and to all the other dads who are a part of our lives!