Having a baby at age 44 put me in a unique position with regard to my friendships. Before he was born, many of my friends, like me, had never had children. I could relate to them for obvious reasons. Most of the others had grown or nearly grown children. Some were already grandparents.
Now I am experiencing sleepless nights, changing diapers and trying to decide whether store-bought or homemade baby food is the best option. Naturally, these are not issues my friends can relate to. I still enjoy their company, and many of them have joyfully accepted Cooper into our friendly circle, but we just don’t have a lot in common anymore. I can no longer stay out late at night or spend the whole day at a craft fair. Cooper’s needs have to come first.
I’ve met a few new friends who have young children like I do. I can talk to them about which brand of car seat is the safest or what is the normal age for crawling to begin. But most of them are twenty-something. Half my age. And for some reason I get funny looks when I talk about my growing need for bifocals, the best treatment for arthritis, whether to color my gray hair or go natural, and my high school and college days . . . in the eighties.
I’m struggling to find my place in this new parenting world that I have suddenly found myself thrust into. I am thankful to be here and wouldn’t trade it for anything. For now I will just enjoy the friendships I have, both old and new. Hopefully time will work out the rest.
How NOT to be anxious in the coming days
2 weeks ago
1 comment:
That would be hard. I was pushing 30 when I had my first and I noticed 'it'. So I feel for you. One of our family jokes was that before kids we used to close restaurants and now we open them. It's a different life, for sure. : )
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