How Don and I Met

I was getting a bit "long in the tooth," as they say, 37 and never married. A part of me was scared to death to get married anyway, so it was just as well. I was happy enough with my little apartment and my dog, and I stayed pretty busy.
-
A friend, Ramelle, who was in the Bible study I was in at the time, asked me if I would be interested in meeting a drummer she knew. I said "no," since I sort of had a relationship going on with a guy I had met online, and I didn’t really want to get involved with a musician anyway. She waited a few months and mentioned it to me again. I said "no" again.
-
She was persistent. She asked him if he would be interested in meeting me, and he said, "yes." She then asked me a third time, telling me that he wanted to try it. I told her I would think about it. The online thing had all but fizzled out. Another friend recommended I just go to lunch with him, so I said I would. It turned out we couldn’t work out a time to go to lunch, so we ended up going to dinner on March 6, 2004.
-
I didn’t like him. He used too many big words. He called me a "reformed Calvinistic theologian." A what? (It turns out this meant I was a Presbyterian, like he was.) Plus, he was a musician. Where I went to college, many of the musicians prided themselves in being weirdos. As the evening was winding down, he asked me if he could call me again. I didn’t really know how to say "no" (even though I had gotten pretty good at saying it to Ramelle), so I told him he could.
-
The next weekend he fixed dinner for me at his apartment. The first thing I noticed as I arrived at his studio apartment was that he didn’t have a single stick of furniture! All he had was musical equipment and electronics. He told me that he didn’t have enough room for furniture, and his drums were more important to him.
-
We ate dinner in folding chairs on a bass drum case, which he covered nicely with a tablecloth. Dinner was not too fancy, but pretty good; I had to admire his efforts. Then he showed me pictures of his family and told me about himself, using less big words this time, and for the first time I began to see his heart.
-
Back home that night as I was praying about how to handle the whole situation, and God began showing me that Don was everything I had been looking for in a husband: a strong Christian with a heart for God and beliefs similar to mine, and a family man with a good work ethic. And what was so bad about being a musician anyway? I began to see him as someone I might potentially marry, but I certainly wasn’t ready to share that with him.
-
We continued dating, and those things I saw in the beginning were reinforced as time went on, and I found we enjoyed each other’s company as well. We went to Iowa that Christmas, and I met his family and really liked them.
-
After Christmas, we started going through a book called Ten Great Dates Before You Say ‘I Do’ (which I think is wonderful and would recommend it to any couple who is contemplating marriage). By the time we got done with that, I had begun to believe (as any good Presbyterian should) that God had made us for each other. We got engaged on April 16, 2005, a beautiful spring day with dogwoods blooming everywhere, in a gazebo at the Ellington Agricultural Center.
-
As it worked out, the best day for us to get married was August 20, Don’s birthday. It was not a fancy wedding. Neither of us really likes being the center of attention, so we originally talked about eloping, but our families would have been upset. We ended up having just over 100 people come, and it was a huge blessing to have them all there to celebrate with us. My family (and Ramelle) pitched in and helped with everything, and my brother, the chef, catered an incredible reception for us!
-
That was three years ago today, and I am still so thankful for it all. Life wasn’t bad before, but I wouldn’t trade married life in for anything! Happy anniversary and happy birthday, to my wonderful husband!
-
P.S. Happy birthday also to Dave (Don’s twin brother) and Glenn P.
-