Twenty-Two Months Old

At twenty-two months, our little guy is growing by leaps and bounds.  His vocabulary has really picked up, and he is getting more independent. 

Here he is on the playground at Chick-fil-a.  This was a big step for ME, to let him do it.  I am very claustrophobic and knew if I let him go up there, there was a chance he may get stuck and I would have to go in there and get him.  I did wait until Don was with us to let him go all the way in, and as it turned out, he did fine.

He is a little cautious about climbing on things, which is okay with me.  We discovered a new indoor playground at a local church, which is open to the public.  This is great for days when the weather isn't nice.  It has about 5 levels of things to climb on, but so far Cooper has only gone to the second level, and he doesn't stay up there for long.  He likes to have his feet on the floor.  I'm sure it won't be long before he'll be at the top though.

We built a bubble fort one day with a sheet and a fan.  Kind of cozy inside, but I got a headache from having that fan blowing right on me for so long. 

His eating skills are improving too.  Well, most of the time.

We've had lots of nice weather.  It seems that June was our hot month and August, which is usually really hot, has been pretty nice this year.  We have gotten outside a lot, which Cooper loves to do.  Hopefully we'll have a lot of nice weather in the coming months.

So, all in all, life is good, and as always, we have much to be thankful for.

Things I Have Learned as a Parent So Far

My baby boy will be two in less than two months.  How time flies.  Yes, I realize most of my friends my age are taking their kids off to college, or at least high school, but still. . .

One advantage of being an older parent is that you realize how quickly time passes.  And you savor every moment you have.  This is one of the things I have learned in his nearly two years.  I am SO thankful that I get to be a stay-at-home mom.  Yes, we are giving up some luxuries, but they are luxuries we can have later.  And later, my son will be grown.  His childhood will be gone.  I might have missed his first smile or first steps, and I would have missed our mornings in the chair, when he first wakes up, reading him a Bible story while he drinks his juice.  After we read, we just cuddle for a while.  I kiss his sweet, soft cheeks.  He may get up and walk around a bit and get one of his stuffed animals to hold or another book to read.  And then we cuddle some more.  This is a luxury that I won’t have later.  A most precious one.

Every day is a gift.  We can’t take it for granted.  We are not guaranteed another day.  In Cooper’s short life, we once nearly lost him to meningitis.  I lost our second child to miscarriage.  I have seen others suffer even greater losses.  Even in the best of circumstances, our children are growing up every day.  Cooper will never be an infant again, and his toddler years are going fast.  And there is nothing we can do about these things.  But the one thing we CAN do is to enjoy each day we have.  We can love our children and thank God for the moment.

Another thing I have learned is the difference between tuning in and tuning out.  Tuning out is being glued to Facebook hour after hour while your child watches TV or misbehaves in an effort to get your attention.  Tuning in is talking to him, reading a book together and taking the time to name the objects he points to on the page, playing play dough with him or teaching him to work puzzles.  It is hearing what he is saying and responding with something more than an “uh-huh.”  No, I don’t do it perfectly all the time.  And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having some “me” time, but while my child is young, I will do myself and him a favor if I am tuned in to him the majority of the time.

I have learned that my child will not dislike me because I discipline him.  It is much easier in the long run to teach him not to do things than to have to deal with the same behavior over and over.  A little pop on the bottom goes a long way.  Sometimes other forms of discipline are more effective: time out, taking away a privilege, or just letting things have their own consequences (a cup thrown on the floor while he’s in his high chair stays there).  We are both happier if he learns what I will and won’t put up with, and if I hold him to that standard. 

Pray for your children.  Don and I pray for Cooper every morning: for God’s protection on him, for wisdom to be his parents, for his salvation, for the wife we hope he will someday have.  This is something I plan to keep doing every day for the rest of my life.

I’m sure I have much more to learn.  I know the years ahead will present new challenges.  Parenting is definitely on-the-job training.  But I will prayerfully continue doing the best I can.  And I will make the most of every day I have with him.  Even the hard ones.  Because they are all a blessing.

What Chick-fil-a Taught Me

I ate at Chick-fil-a last Wednesday.   Appreciation day, supporting the owner after he publicly spoke out for the traditional family, which offended homosexuals and those who support them.  I wrote on Facebook that I did it.  Some of my friends were offended.  One even unfriended me.

I’ve been thinking since then.  Would I be offended if my friends did something to protest, say, Christianity, and flaunted it on Facebook or some other way?  Maybe.  Would I take it personally?  Maybe.  Was it an unloving thing that I did?

Maybe it’s not as black and white as I thought it was. 

I recently heard a friend speak on whether or not homosexuals are born that way.  She believes that yes, they are probably born with those tendencies.  She talked to a friend of hers who was a homosexual who wished he wasn’t.  He struggles to change, but keeps going back to it.  He wonders why God created him that way.

It made her think about herself.  She struggles with fear and depression, even thoughts of suicide, and has for most of her life.  Her thoughts were that we all struggle with sin, even from birth; it is when we stop struggling, when we give in to it, that we have lost the battle.   

If she stopped struggling with her sin, she would likely kill herself.  If a recovering alcoholic stopped struggling with his sin, he would give in to alcoholism and probably never have any quality of life.  What about someone who struggles with rage?  Is it okay for them act on their anger over every little thing that sets them off?

Romans 1:18-32 says:

¹⁸ For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth. ¹⁹ For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. ²⁰ For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. ²¹ For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. ²² Claiming to be wise, they became fools, ²³ and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things.

²⁴ Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, ²⁵ because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen.

²⁶ For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; ²⁷and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error.

²⁸ And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. ²⁹ They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, ³⁰ slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, ³¹ foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. ³² Though they know God's righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them.

God allows us to go our own way, but it is not always the best thing for us.  In fact, it is sin if it goes against His word.  And sin has consequences.

Our society today tells that we should allow homosexuals to go their own way, that there’s nothing wrong with it, that we don’t love them if we try to stand in their way.

But let’s look at verse 32: Though they know God's righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them.

So it would seem that approving of such activity is as wrong as doing it.  What’s more, there is a long list of sins in verses 29-31, several of which I know I have been guilty of.

I had another conviction as I listened to my friend’s talk.  I have struggled with my weight for most of my life.  At one time I was nearly 100 pounds overweight.  I finally got down to the weight where I should be about ten years ago, but then it started creeping back up.  For the last six years or so, I have been 20-30 pounds overweight.  I have struggled to get it off, but lately my mindset has been that it is too much work to fight this weight and I need to just live with it.  A few well-meaning friends have told me that there is no need to struggle with this, that I am fine just the way I am.  This has contributed to my belief that I don’t need to fight it. 

Is that any different from the mindset that homosexuals shouldn’t fight their tendencies, but just give in to them?  Have I just resigned myself to my sin and stopped struggling?  Hmmm.

I tried to get my doctor to tell me that my weight was fine, even though I am above what he considers a healthy weight for me.  I tried to convince him that I have tried, unsuccessfully, to get my weight down, and therefore there was no need to try anymore, and that since I am otherwise healthy, it wasn’t really a problem anyway.

But unlike my friends, he wouldn’t agree with me.  He said that even though I am healthy now, my weight could cause problems in the long run.  He gave me some tips to help get it down, tips I am well-aware of but lately haven’t felt like trying.

Would my doctor have done me a bigger favor by telling me that my weight was fine, or by telling me what he knows to be the truth?  If he had told me my weight wasn’t a problem, I would have continued to believe that, but because he stood up to me, it made me realize that I did need to continue to fight this battle.

I am being hypocritical by saying those with homosexual tendencies should fight their sin, when I am not fighting my own.

So, I have prayerfully decided two things:

1) I will continue to believe homosexuality is a sin, and I will do what I can to oppose it, even if it makes me unpopular.  But at the same time, I will try to be loving and understanding of those who struggle with this issue.  

2) I will continue to struggle with my own sin of overeating and not give in to it.  I may not win every battle, but I will continue to fight.

Starting. Today.