Tuesday, November 24, 2009

The Perfect Holiday

What is a perfect holiday?

When I was a child, it seemed there were certain standards that needed to be followed: We must get together with other family members. We must eat certain foods that were associated with that particular holiday. At Christmas, there had to be gifts. Everyone was to be festive and joyful and follow the traditions that had been set.

As I grew older, many of those traditions got blown out of the water. During college and the years following, I spent some holidays away from home but always managed to find someone to spend them with, some way to celebrate them, whether traditional or non-traditional. Later my parents divorced, which changed a lot of things. Some years money has been tight, and a feast or expensive gifts weren't an option. Sometimes family members have to work all or part of the day, and we have to plan our celebrations accordingly.

We still have family celebrations; they're just not exactly the same as they used to be. Many of the people I spent holidays with as a child have died, and others have joined our family, whether through marriage or birth. Sometimes we invite people we know who have no family to spend the holidays with, as others have done for me in the past. Sometimes we do non-traditional things or eat different foods than we ate when I was a child. Sometimes now I spend holidays with my in-laws rather than the family I grew up with.

And I have learned this: holidays are what you make them. Joy comes from within, not from a certain food or a certain tradition, or even a certain group of people. There may be sadness in missing someone or over some other circumstance, but there can still be joy (it may help to do something completely non-traditional in this case to take your focus off of "traditions").

As you gather together with your family, or however you celebrate Thanksgiving this year, I encourage you to take the time to thank God for the circumstances you are in, whatever they may be. I believe that there you will find joy, not in a "perfect" holiday, but in your gratitude for what you do have.

1 comment:

Pam said...

This is so true. I sometimes have to remember that the way I feel now about the holidays is how my parents must have felt 'back in the day' when they were experiencing their own feelings of loss during the holidays. I'm glad you've reconciled 'the perfect holiday' idea. That's a hard one sometimes.