Living at Peace

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Romans 12:18

My mom and I were discussing what we should do if someone wrongs us and doesn’t know it. Have they sinned? Is it our responsibility to deal with it?

I have learned through experience that when someone wrongs me and doesn’t apologize, whether or not they realize they have done it, I have three options:

1) I can hold a grudge. This is a natural tendency for me, but I have found that it doesn’t do me OR the person who wronged me any good. In fact, it leads to bitterness and puts a rift not only in my relationship with that person, but also in my walk with God.

2) I can get over it. I can opt just to forget about it. If it was just something that someone didn’t mean to do, I have to acknowledge that they, like me, are an imperfect human. Sometimes I need to be forgiven, and sometimes I need to forgive.

3) I can confront that person. If someone has done something that I just can’t get over, or maybe they are doing something repeatedly and it isn’t getting any better, it may be time for a confrontation. If they’re not aware of what they’re doing, that may be all it takes to make them stop or apologize. Or sometimes with communication comes a clearer understanding of why the person did what they did, making it easier to forgive them. But I always recommend doing this humbly and gently, with full knowledge that the tables may be turned at some point, and I may become the person who needs to be confronted.

As far as I am concerned, #1 is not an option for me anymore. It is a sin. I always try for #2, but if I simply can't get over it and find myself reverting back to #1, then I go for #3. God desires for us to live at peace with one another, so it is important that we do what we can to restore the broken relationships in our lives.