Nash's New Year's Resolutions

I have decided to give my dog Nash a spot on my blog so he can share the resolutions that he plans to work on this year. Nash has come a long way in his behavior, but, like the rest of us, there are still a few rough edges that need to be smoothed out, so to provide him with some accountability, I encouraged him to get together a list and publish it here for all to see. Here is what he came up with:

I am going to stop jumping on doors and scratching them. I have not only scratched the paint off several doors in my own house; I also did it at my grandparents’ house in Iowa when my parents left me there for a couple of hours. This was when my mom and dad realized that this was a problem that needed to be corrected.

I am going to stop yanking on my leash. Several months ago I injured my mom’s shoulder (possibly a torn rotator cuff), and it still hasn’t healed. My mom may need to get me a choke collar or something similar to help me work on this problem.

I am going to stop trying to eat my bunny-sister, Heidi. Neither of my parents have really figured out how to help me with this, but they are working on it. I really wouldn’t want to eat Heidi. After all, she is my sister. I know rabbits are prey for dogs in the wild, but I get two square meals a day, so there’s no real need to supplement that. And while we’re on that topic, I am also going to stop yipping obnoxiously when I see her in her cage. My parents are working on a strategy to help me with that too. Nothing has really worked so far, except they have figured out that when they yell at me, I get more excited and yip louder.

I am going to stop eating paper. I like all sorts of paper: shredded phone book pages that I pull out of Heidi’s cage, and also tissues, napkins, and more. But that was the old Nash. That was before I found out that my cousin Lilly, a Bernese Mountain Dog, ate five potholders and had to have surgery. They, well you know, wouldn’t come out. It cost my Uncle David and Aunt Tricia a lot of money. And it couldn’t have been much fun for Lilly either. My mom says that while paper is probably not as bad as potholders, it could have the same effect on me. And that would be bad. So the new Nash is going to stop eating paper. My dog-sister Dasha shares my taste for it, so I’m hoping we can maybe hold each other mutually accountable or something.

This is my year. I really want to get it right. I want to be a good dog. I think I just need a better understanding of what’s expected of me. I’ll try to keep you updated on the progress I make if my mom will let me write on her blog again.