Pam’s Tree

When my friend Pam died, two of my other friends went in together and gave me a gift card to buy a tree in her memory.

Don and I got engaged at the Ellington Agricultural Center about 3 weeks after she died. It was the first day I was really happy again, and one of the main things I remember about it was that there were dogwoods in bloom everywhere. So I chose a dogwood tree to remind me not of the sadness of Pam’s death, but the renewed hope that came afterward. I think it’s what she would have wanted.

I also chose it because of the dogwood flowers’ unique resemblance to the cross. Besides its obvious shape, each petal has a hole at the end that appears to be outlined in blood. The center looks somewhat like a crown of thorns.

I got the little tree the fall after we got married, 3½ years ago. The first one I got died, and we had to replace it. Neither the first one nor the second one has ever bloomed, much to my dismay.

Until this year. For the first time, it is beautiful. I get a bit mystical sometimes, but it is interesting that this wonderful event happened so shortly after this one. Pam asked me to stay in touch with her kids, and I have not even seen any of them at all in the last four years, until about three weeks ago, when I began making a real effort to get involved in her younger kids’ lives. I hope this will lead to getting involved with her older kids as well. At least the ones who are still alive.

Just a coincidence? Possibly. It’s one of the things I want to ask her when I get to heaven.